Missed It From The Start
by bellakitse
Summary: He's left wondering when Rachel and Puck became the norm and how he missed it. Finn POV. *PuckRachel Drabble meme*


Title: Missed It From The Start

Category: Glee

Ship: Rachel/Puck

Rated: PG

Word: 3029

Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: He's left wondering when Rachel and Puck became the norm and how he missed it. Finn POV.

**Puckrachel** drabble meme: "Noah is not a consolation prize, Finn."

It comes to Finn like a shot fired. Loud, clear and sudden. He's sitting on the second row of chairs in the music room with Quinn at his side, leaning against him, her head resting on his shoulder, her hands resting on his thigh as they listen to Mr. Schuester talk about messages in music and the moments of realization and understanding the true meaning behind the lyrics. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches a flash of shiny brown hair. Rachel. She's not sitting in her usual front and center seat. Instead, she's actually a row behind him and at the corner. Very unusual. Even more so because she's not paying attention or interrupting Mr. Schuester. No. As he finds himself cranking his neck to look at his ex, he observes that her attention is solely on his best friend who happens to be sitting next to her. It's not all that strange for Puck and Rachel to sit together. Puck is one of the few in the Glee Club who can deal with Rachel's musical chatter or, at the very least, tune it out. Except he's not tuning her out. At least to Finn, it doesn't seem like he is. He watches, unable to stop as his friend angles his body closer to Rachel. Interesting, the way his friend slants his face to the side, giving Rachel access to his ear.

She takes full advantage as her face is tilted upward towards his, her mouth inches from Puck's ear. He narrows his eyes, zoning in, taking in the way her full lips move quickly as she tells Puck whatever secret information she's sharing but his eyes leave her lips and move on to his friend's which is weirdly sporting a smile.

Puck smiles all the time or smirks which is more like it, especially, when he's amused at someone else's expense, leering when he's after a cheerleader or a cougar, sneering when he's cutting someone down for being a loser. But this time, no smirks only a small quirk at the corners that surprises Finn because he's never seen it before on his bro. Puck's even unaware he's doing it, which is new and unnerving. Finn turns his head forward when he feel's Quinn give his thigh a squeeze. He doesn't look at her but he knows she's burning holes in the side of his face with unasked questions. He makes it a point not to look back at his ex-girlfriend or his best friend for the rest of Glee, even though, another nagging thought other than Puck's creepy happy smile remains bouncing around his head. He stares at them for a long time, long enough for Quinn to notice and give him that annoyed look she'll be sporting the rest of the day and yet neither of them noticed. Rachel didn't notice.

xxx

He puts it out of his mind for a while, life continues as always. Classes, Quinn, football, Glee rehearsals in preparation for Nationals. They are around the corner and they've been working hard, mixing their original songs and covers. He and Rachel get leads and they work well together. It's moments like these when he's blown away by her talent that he misses _them_ and what they use to be. He misses the way she lit up when they sang together. He misses it because it doesn't happen anymore. He watches as she belts out the words of a song with a smile on her face as she sings with him, looking at him but he can tell the smile comes from the high she gets from performing and not from performing with him. He knows 'cause the second Mr. Schuester calls out a break, she's off the stage and over in a corner talking with Tina and Brittany instead of taking the opportunity to stay next to him.

He walks over to where Artie is with the band and listens while they talk about more tempos. Out of the corner of his eye he watches as Rachel, Brittany and Tina walk back on the stage and take the center. They start going through the dance routine the girls are going to have, laughing as they add funkier new moves. He stops paying attention to the band completely, more entertained with the way the three girls move their hips. Mercedes, Lauren and Santana are in their seats cheering them on as Sam and Mike join them, Tina and Mike moving into each other, same as Sam and Brittany. He smiles as Rachel laughs while doing a low spin and he's about to join her like the guys but stops midway when she start sashaying towards Puck who has climbed the stairs to the stage. He watches as she playfully extends her hand to him and his friend shakes his head laughing as he allows her to lead him back to center stage.

He's frozen in place as he watches, amazed that the rest of the Glee Club is cheering and laughing along with the couples and their goofing around and no one notices, no one comments on the fact while the other two girls dance away from their partners, Puck has one hand low on Rachel's hip, the other sprayed across her stomach and her back is super glued to his front. His brain is leaking from his ears as he watched Puck's crotch practically _living_ in Rachel's backside (and isn't that the worse image his brain could ever come up with) and _no one_ is saying anything. No one is screaming _stop_ but the voice in his head. No. It seems to be completely normal to everyone else that his ex and his best friend who has dated over half of the Glee Club are now practically doing a pornographic dance in front of them, even more than that, they're whooping for more, even Mr. Schuester seems to be laughing along, thinking this is great fun and he is left wondering when he entered this bizarre world.

xxx

Football practice has been brutal for weeks. Beiste has taken to running them longer as punishment for the fact that the rest of the football players can't get along with him and the rest of the Glee members. It has led to them staying on the field for hours, taking their aggression and hostility for each other out on the green in hopes they'll be too tired later. It works for the most part because when Mike comments on karaoke over at Tina's and Azimio makes a comment about singing queers, none of them have the energy to pound him. Instead, Puck just flips him off with one hand while texting with his other. He doesn't even look at the guy as he does it; he's too busy smirking at whatever he's reading on his phone.

"Is that Lauren?" He asks and he gets a curious look from Puck.

"No, why would you think it's Lauren?" Puck asks, giving him his attention, ignoring the chirp as he gets another text.

Finn pulls his shirt on as he shrugs at his friend trying to be casual and hoping he's succeeding but he can tell from the fact that Sam, Mike and Artie are looking between them that he didn't. "You are dating her, aren't you?"

Puck raises an eyebrow as he looks at him and Finn finds it hard not to squirm. He has never feared his friend like most of the population in their school, but there is something to be said about Puck's eyes when they have you in their sights, it can be…unnerving.

"No, Zizes and I are done, she said my 'twig' like figure bugged her." Puck answers, obviously amused by the girl's comment. "And she insulted the 'hawk, there's no coming back from that. She's dating her sparring partner from wrestling."

"Oh, so who…" Puck's phone ringing interrupted his question '_The way he makes me fee_l' echoing in the locker room, earning a snicker from Artie.

"Dude," Mike grinned. "Streisand?"

He watches as Puck rolls his eyes and murmurs 'damn it Berry' as he presses talk and holds the phone to his ear. "Woman, what have I said about messing with my ringtones!"

Puck rolls his eye at whatever is being said at the other end of the line. "Yes, I agree Barbra Streisand is a Jewish icon, but she doesn't need to be on my phone…wait…what's my ringtone?"

Finn watches as Puck grins and laughs at the answer he is given.

"Fine, I keep Babs, if you keep that as my ringtone…yeah I'm almost done, I'll go pick up the food and see you in twenty, and, Berry, no musicals tonight, or it's a _Die Hard_ marathon this weekend."

Puck ends the call with a 'see you soon babe' and finishes getting his things together, asking Mike for a rain check for him and Rachel on Karaoke. He watches as Mike nods in understanding and doesn't comment on the fact that obviously Puck is going to meet up with Rachel. In fact, neither does Sam nor Artie; they just go about their businesses. Puck's phone beeps again and after he reads it, Puck rushes out of the locker room mumbling about woman and their ice cream fixations.

As the door closes behind him, he's left standing there watching as Artie cracks an imaginary whip causing Sam and Mike to crack up. His chuckle is hollow as he laughs along, lost that he is left wondering when Puck and Rachel in the same sentence (spending time together) became such the norm that no one bats an eyelash and how he missed it.

xxx

It's game night and they're tied with time for one more play, they can win for once. It's amazing, it's exhilarating, and it's fucking nerve-wracking as hell. They never had to worry about winning with Tanaka. They just had to worry about not sucking as much as they usually did; but with Beiste they've been winning more and more and they like it, he likes it. The stands are filled with red and white fans cheering, he can see in the distance the Glee Club members sitting together waving banners. Quinn, Santana and Brittany, back in their uniforms, cheering on the sideline with pompoms in the air since Coach Sylvester realized she needs them on the team and lets them come back.

He has gone over the play, they're in formation, the whistle blows. He yells _hut _and receives the ball, and players fight for dominance as he scans the field. Puck is yards ahead waiting, and he raises his arms and releases. He watches the ball fly, spiraling to Puck. He holds his breath as Puck leaps through the air and catches it. The seconds are ticking down and his buddy is running like the hounds of hell or like two three-hundred-fifty-plus pounds linebackers who are dying to turn him into flat bread are after him. He reaches the end zone and the whistles blows again. Touchdown!

He breaks out into a grin, cheering as the crowd thunders in the stands. He's eyes met Quinn's and she's jumping up and down screaming at the top of her lungs as she stares directly at him. Her focus makes him feel damn good. He looks behind her and the rest of the cheerleaders and finds the Glee Club members again; they are all cheering and smiling, happy for them but none more than Rachel. Her smile is so huge it seems to reach her ears. He watches as Kurt who is sitting next to her leans to her, talks to her but she doesn't look at him. She's still smiling but is looking far off. He follows her line of vision with dread, it's not directed at him, he's in the middle of the field and she's staring at the end zone. She's staring at Puck who's staring right back. He looks at his friend in the distance with his helmet off. He watches as Puck raises his two fingers to his lips and then presses them to his chest over his heart. It's such a cheesy un-Puck thing to do and he knows to whom it's directed. Still, he can't stop himself from looking back at Rachel for her reaction to the obvious display. His stomach clenches as he sees her sporting a soft look on her face, a dreamy expression as she looks down bashfully and pulls a lock of hair behind her ear as she looks at his friend up though her lashes. Suddenly the win doesn't seem all that great to him.

xxx

He holds out for two more weeks before he confronts her. Two weeks of witnessing more and more little moments till he's about to barf or gouge his eyes out. He hasn't caught them making out, there has not been any groping against the locker, which is somehow worse. That is usually Puck's style and if that was the case now, he could just write it off as Puck doing what Puck does best. No, instead, he has watched them sharing lunch together. Walking to Puck's truck where he opens the door for her. Singing duets to songs about true love and soulful connections while Puck plays his guitar and Rachel looks at him like he's her first shiny _Tony_.

He finds her alone in the music room, a surprise since he can never find her alone these days, the shadow of his best friend at her side at all times. She's sitting on one of the chairs looking over sheet music. He doesn't greet her when she glances at him and says hello, he just sits down next to her and blurts it out.

"Are you and Puck together?"

He waits. He waits for her to deny it. Even with everything he's been seeing for weeks, he waits for her to admit that it's nothing, that it's a way to make him jealous, a way to pass the time since they aren't together anymore.

"Yes, Noah and I are dating… we have been for two months." The happiness behind her words is clear. He flinches as she speaks, she's not playing games.

He turns to her and finds she's ready, meeting his eyes straight on with no hint of nervousness or guilt. It annoys him. "At regional you said you meant every word of your song."

She nods. "I did mean every word, Finn."

He shoots her a look of confusion. "Then how can you be with Puck now?"

He watches as she closes her eyes and shakes her head. "Because I meant _every_ word, Finn." She spoke slowly, quoting her song. _'What can you do when your good isn't good enough, how many times will it take for me to get it right.'_

"Right!" He exclaimed.

"Finn," She says softly, placing her hand over his. "How many times will it take for me to explain for you to get that I can't make it right with _you,_ that I'll _never_ be good enough for _you_, because I was never meant to be with _you_."

"But you are for Puck?" Finn scoffs, pulling his hand away. It bugs him because she acts and talks as if he's a small child who doesn't get it, even though, it's true. He doesn't.

"Yes!" He hates that her smile as she answers is blindingly bright. He hates that it was never like that with him.

"So you settled for Puck." He states, his words sound more like a curse as they come out of his mouth. He hates that as he says them she gives him a look he's used to from her—disappointment.

But there's something else as Rachel laughs a humorless laugh, her eyes narrowed and her shoulders stiffens and he knows it's her _'I'm Rachel Berry and I'm ready to make you cry'_ fighting stand. He remembers the first time she ever really gave it to him, back when he left Glee for football and had to slushy Kurt. It's not lost in him that on that occasion she was in a relationship with Puck, too.

Her words are clipped and biting. "Noah isn't a consolation prize, Finn."

"Please." He sneers even as his stomach turns at her fierce defense of his friend.

Ignoring his comment, she stands and continues as if he hadn't spoken. "In fact, if life was a carny game, Noah wouldn't be the silly little rubber snake they give you when you miss the bull's eye. He'd be the first prize giant teddy bear."

"Rachel." He says helplessly.

She moves close to him, her face in his. "I hit the bull's eye, Finn, I got the top prize."

He stares, amazed that there is no deception behind her words, any manipulation, or even malice. She's being honest and he realizes that nothing he says or does is going to change her mind. She's done with him.

"Babe," Puck calls out from the door as he arrives. "You ready?"

She gives him a final look that is defiant as if to say _'just try giving him grief about this and I'll cut you'_ before she turns to his friend. She's small but the look is enough to stop him from opening his mouth again.

"Yeah." She says as she walks up to Puck and on her tippy toe reaches to kiss him. He watches as Puck brushes her hair behind her shoulder, returning the kiss.

"I'm ready."

"Good." Puck answers as he looks straight at him before smiling down at the tiny girl.

"Can I call you teddy bear?" He hears her ask as they leave, he still sees enough of Puck's face to see his lips twitch.

"Not if you expect me to answer." Are the final words he hears as the door closes and they are gone from his sight, leaving him alone in an empty music room wondering how he missed it all.

He thinks back to her song and realizes that when it comes to him and Rachel and Puck and Rachel, he missed it from the start. He always did.


End file.
